I'm already dead
by little-miss-ridiculous
Summary: Kim's alone and is abused and there's only one way to end her suffering.


We used to be best friends, he stood up to bullies and helped people. Now he's the one doing the bullying. He and his friend the 'populars' constantly put me down and call me names and trip me in the halls.

But it's not just at school. The beast that is my dad. Words can't describe the torture he puts me through. The beatings using not just his hands and feet but knives and bats. Last week he pressed a scolding hot iron onto my back, the burn and pain is still there.

Ever since my mother passed away my life has turned around, in the worst way possible. I'm constantly told I'm a bitch, fat, ugly, slut. And from my own dad the same. I'm nothing but a disappointment. I'm told I should just kill myself.

So I've decided to take the advice. After all I'm already dead, dead inside. I've pushed myself to the point of no return. First with the cutting, for relief and escape. Then I stopped eating. I only eat bits of lettuce and crackers, occasionally 1 or 2 chips as a reward. My grades dropped from A's to D 's and F's.

I have knowone to help me. Knowone to love me.

So I've decided to write everyone letters. First Jack:

Jack I thought we where friends. Best friends. But a lot of this is your fault, you hurt me and turned people against me. For what? Popularity. If that's worth loosing me then fine, but you should know. I did love you. DID. But now I realise how stupid I was. Just remember Jack, when you walk into school and tease so many others with populars. It's cost a life. A life that wanted something from this world but only received hate and hurt.

Goodbye Jack,

From,

Kim Crawford.

I feel a tear run down my cheek. Jerry:

Jerry I don't blame you, I really don't. After Jack pushed us away you were hurting too. But you saw what they did, but you did nothing. That hurt. But like I said, I don't blame you. Aside from Jack you where my best guy friend and I'll miss you I really will. So don't let this hold you back. Make your life worth something. I believe in you.

Good luck Jerry,

Love,

Kim Crawford.

A few more tears sprung from my eyes. Milton:

I do blame you a little Milton. When jack left us you did too. You became arrogant and spiteful towards us, like it was our fault. For that I don't have much to say apart from that I'm disappointed in you.

From,

Kim Crawford.

I sniffed choking back sobs. Rudy:

Rudy you were more of a father than mine ever could have been even with your childish behaviour. I love you for that. I'm sorry I never told you what was happening, you might have been able to help me. Everything happens for a reason, maybe you'll find some good out of this.

Love,

Kim Crawford.

I'm crying now. Grace:

What happened to us. We were so close. Then you left me. You new my dad had hit me. But I never told you it kept happening or how it got worse. But I still thought you'd never leave me, guess I was wrong. But I still love you Grace, I just wish I new what happened. Have a good life, make good decisions, and most importantly follow your heart.

Love you BFFL,

Kim Crawford.

I'm shaking. Lastly my dad:

I hate you, I really do. You hurt my physically and emotionally. Because mum died leaving you alone. I thought you loved me. But you don't. So don't even think you can feel sorry for what you've done to me. If you even feel an ounce of regret I hate you. I don't want you to regret what you've done because this happened for 3 years and you didn't even think about what you've done. I want you to know it was you who killed me inside. You!

Bye,

Your 'disappointment' of a daughter : Kim Crawford.

I pull out a box from under a floor board and look at it. Inside lies my mother's favourite dress from when she was my age. I put on the white, lace fabric and did my make up and curl my hair. I pick up the letters and the box and walk outside into the sun. I post the letters at each person's house. I then text everyone to meet me at the pier.

It is windy now and the waves crash against the pier. Everyone's here lined up in front of me." Read your letter in your head." I say. They all look confused apart from my dad. He knows exactly what he's done.I turn around and walk to the edge and whisper a goodbye though knowone can hear me. I then jump. My dress flapping in the wind as I fall. " Kim!" Grace screams, but it's too late. I'm already dead.


End file.
